Yoko Ono Sings on City Streets to Ensure NY Residents Stay Inside
At the urging of the New York State Governor and local authorities, Yoko Ono has agreed to sing, to keep residents off of city streets.
The Governor stated “Yoko will be used strategically wherever and whenever a crowd forms. Just today we deployed Ms. Ono to Crown Heights, Brooklyn, where a wedding was taking place. There were 300 guests congregating and within 3 minutes, the streets were completely empty. It was a sight to see, those people were running through the streets and jumping out of windows to escape the horrific screeching.”
H Bomb
No one will know where or when Yoko will pop up and begin her screaming and caterwauling. For extreme cases, Yoko will perform her latest single, “Ear Splitter”. “I call that song the ‘H’ bomb”, said the Governor. “It’s actually a little cruel, but extreme times call for extreme measures.”
Yoko Ono music was used on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay until Amnesty International declared it to be a form of war crimes and it was outlawed.
Yoko said she got her sound inspiration when she was a little girl. “I saw a cat get run over by a car once and I just thought it was the most beautiful sound. I have been trying to emulate it ever since.”
Other states will begin using Yoko impersonators or play her recorded music to scare citizens off the streets and back into their houses where they belong.
Related Stories: Yoko Ono Finally Admits to Breaking Up The Beatles
Related Stories: Yoko Ono Releases New Single: 7 Killed and Hundreds Injured After Listening!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
I guess whatever it takes We have to Thank her
I would rather stay home to avoid listening to her music on the street. May be I immediately make a 90 angle turn to some place else.
Well I hope they all play it safe and wear their ear defender’s . Poor loves.
Must be careful not to let Yokos voice cause a chain reaction that could destroy all life on the planet. Scientists haven’t had a chance to determine the long term affects of Yokos voice which quite possibly cause hysteria, madness and ultimately, death. Her voice could have catastrophic results!
Yoko Ono can’t sing and is also otherwise repulsive. Good deterrent choice.
OMG Yoko Ono Has never had a voice She can’t and doesn’t sing .. she screams like she was bitten by a snake good god Why the hell does that women think she has a voice lol bloody hell can someone buy her a wheelchair please near 90
She sang on Beatle albums because of her exquisite tonal qualities!
Primal screaming, which is what Yoko does, isn’t singing. Why people confuse the two is beyond me.
You are the ultimate in repulsiveness – a hater who hasn’t a clue…
Yes and you are beautiful.
Great. During this crisis all the streetlights around her will have to be replaced.
Poor Yoko.
She did used to draw, y’know….
#sicbitchlikesthesoundofsufferingcats
Absolutely!
Thought a dying cat was a wonderful sound! Typical
Probably more likely when she was watching her parents butchering a cat for stir fry ?
That is so funny
yo no thats not funny … that’s racism
(unless you’re saying this from a place of total love and understanding in which case ignore me)
You’re obviously an ignoramus. Japanese cuisine is much more refined than you’ll ever see.
“She gets down on her knees to make up life”
It’s to “throw up life”
Her singing will keep them inside ! LOL !
Cuomo should do it. He’d close up the whole city
OMG I prefer the coronavirus a thousand times than the torture of listening to her singing
And I truly hope you get it!
Talk about hate!!! Be gone Satan!
Oh, but it’s OK to hate Yoko? You racist ignoramus.
We need help to stay indoors. If her singing helps this situation, then ” come on down”. I want a normal life sooner than later
Why of all people her??????
Have you never heard her “sing?” You are lucky then. You’d admit to anything if they used it as a torture device.
Instant Karma’s going to get her…
How is it instant? Karma is taking its sweet time. 🤔😂🤣😁
Sounds like Kate Bush-Experiment IV
Surely Yoko Ono can’t cover all of NYC on her own? Governator Cuomo must have enlisted a few other artists to help her.
Captain Beefheart would work
judging from comments some don’t get the joke and that’s just as funny
I was just thinking the same thing! Are people really that gullible?! If so, I hope they don’t breed or vote!!
I was thinking the same thing and wondering whether or not to tell them or just keep quiet.
That screech owl could make me bury my head in the concrete.
In the beginning, there was a joke, but I think manyof comments are becoming a bit venomous. Yoko is a sweet and enigmatic woman with a challenging dedication to portrayal of her concepts. The fact you cannot understand or appreciate her expression is okay, and she won’t speak badly of you. You should give her the same courtesy.
You weren’t held as a child either.
Laughing my ass off at these comments!😅
That’s f-ing funny.
She truly is a very sweet person. I am saddened by the comments.
Tell that back when to Cynthia Lennon when she and John were in bed together when she returned home from a trip, with Yoko’s slippers parked outside the bedroom door. Cynthia walked in on them, John looks at her and says simply, “Hi”.
and Cynthia just said,” I had breakfast in Greece, Lunch in Spain, and I am having dinner in London. Yoko was wearing Cynthia\s bathrobe and it was in the kitchen where this all took place.
Yoko was blatantly oblivious to Cynthia’s feelings. She didn’t care she was breaking up their marriage.
Why would John have an affair with Yoko if his marriage with Cynthia was so great? Is it Yoko’s fault that John had the affair with her? You blame Yoko as if she were the culprit when it takes two to tango.
Calling her sweet and enigmatic is a bigger joke than this post about her singing 🤣🤣
Morris Lyda I applaud you! ON ALL LEVELS! for your words that you shared!
PLEASE, everyone… please, stop for a moment and… T.H.I.N.K.
T is it True?
H is it Helpful?
I is it Inspiring?
N is it Necessary?
K is it Kind?
We are ALL Globally connected! Let’s support and conquer this pandemic! TOGETHER!
Nope ! Who cares?im just glad I don’t live in New York! This is one of the funniest articles I’ve read in a very long time… T H I N K A b o u t it…
people who don’t know much about Yoko are blinded by hatred. She is known for promoting peace more than anyone in history with the possible exception of Jesus and Ghandi (John was following HER) – Some of her “screeching “vocals could be abrasive, but she also has some softer sweeter tunes. Double Fantasy…
Courtesy? Breaking up the BEATLES, KEEPING JOHN FROM HIS SON, AND MAKING TERRIBLE NOISES ALL THE TIME? SHE CAN… well, never mind. I’m, just glad I get no link to her noises.
You are a dork – clueless
Thank you very much for this statement, you are right. Yoko Ono is a great artist and very smart and generous human being and the people who talk and write badly about her obviously don’t have a clue!
“A great artist??!?”
After spending a great deal of time in the music industry, (at the Gold & Platinum Artist level)
I would say that’s like calling Jeffrey Dahmer a great chef!
Bon Appetit!
If you don’t know that Yoko is a great artist, regardless of her music, you are very dense, I wouldn’t want my music making talent anywhere near you…
How very vicious some humans can be towards others. So very very sad. Wish they had all been taught better. Especially in these times, we all need to support each other.
like you are without sin?
Truly unnecessary, ignorant and small minded attack on Ms. Ono. Save your spite for those responsible for the unnecessary deaths of thousands.
I have friends who are Chinese, Dwight so I don’t want to blame the Chinese people. Yoko is vile. Her stepson told me 2 horrible incidents she threw to him
brilliant and thank you
The “brilliant and thank you” reply was meant for Dwight NOT Barb and Yoko is not Chinese
Who thought Yoko was Chinese?
nothing like being 50 years late with a joke at the hate fest.
very astute
Yoko ono shouldn’t be let anywhere near a mike or anything musical instruments of any kind don’t know what Lennon was thinking about must have been love love love
Primal scream therapy is different from making music. Do you get the difference?
Some of you are missing the point. I havent even heard her but I get “it”.
Now where can I hear a recording of it?
Maybe she’ll be run over by a car so we know what she’s trying to achieve.
Shes vile.
And you’re a racist simpleton who needs to have a scapegoat. John knew what he was doing and to blame her for everything is ignorance on your part.
So right on , she should not sing. She’s awful. Ear piercing.
Listen to your comments people. You are the vile ones. You don’t get anything about this woman and the body of art she has created in her life even before meeting John. John saw it. He loved her. If you think she’s responsible for breaking up the Beatles you need to grow up get a life and move on.
Opem your ears! She treated her stepson like dirt
Guess when your mind is closed, it shuts off all your other senses. Id hate to be one of these poor bastards but I see hate is the common thread here. Crack that box of yours.open & let some light in!
She is hard to look at and hard to listen to.
Laughing my ass off at these comments!😅
LMAO
Yoko is amazing actually. I know it would make me smile.
Don’t Worry!
I have never heard so many ignorant and abusive comments from ignorant people. It’s hard to believe these are adults talking about someone that is trying to shed some light on this very critical time. I’m so shocked!!!!!! God help them all!!!
You know this is a joke, right? Although it’s not a bad idea. Nevertheless, an inability to appreciate the caterwauling that this woman calls singing does not make one ignorant. The way the elite press fawn over this woman’s artistic accomplishments , including her “music, ” has always reminded me of The Emperor’s New Clothes.
A more in depth look at her artistic accomplishments would reveal that perhaps you are the one wearing no clothes. I would trust the elite press ahead of the other ones.
Oh ouch. But it’s okay. I will remain among the ignorant who don’t have any of her “songs” on my Spotify playlist.
OMG. She sings everyone will stay in for life !!!
Here’s hoping that you do…