New Study: Mick Jagger Is Probably Your Father If You Were Born After 1964
A new Dutch study has proven that Mick Jagger probably slept with your Mother. That means Mick Jagger is probably your father.
Researchers performed a meta-analysis of every child born between the years 1964 – 2019, and concluded that 51% of them were fathered by Mick Jagger.
Mick Jagger Is Your Father
Mick Jagger traveled the globe during these years as lead singer of the Greatest Rock n Roll Band in the World, ‘The Rolling Stones’. Jagger was quite the ladies man and it is estimated that he has made sex with millions of women.
Right now, you are probably saying to yourself, the numbers don’t add up!? Well, the missing factor is that Jagger’s ex-wife Bianca sold his sperm to a fertility clinic from 1973-2011. Bianca admitted that during their marriage she stocked up and bottled Mick’s DNA. She actually had an entire warehouse which had the sole purpose of storing the liquid goods. Then after her divorce from Jagger, she sold gallons of the stuff to banks all over the world. To this day Bianca still has a website where you can buy some for your own use.
Sticky Fingers
Jagger is said to be extremely fertile and once impregnated a woman just by bumping into her on the street. Another lady says she got pregnant just by listening to ‘Sticky Fingers’. Kim Burritt explained how she started feeling all tingly when she heard ‘Brown Sugar’. “By the time I got to Can’t You Hear Me Knocking, I was fully pregnant. I think I even felt contractions. Nine Months later my son Jagger was born.”
The study was done by researchers at Utrecht University, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam, Erasmus Medical Center, and University Medical Center Groningen. It appears in Child Development, a journal of the Society for Research in Child Development.
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This can’t be for real!!!
I’m sure it is … why do you doubt?
Wish my mom.could get back child support. Lol!!!
satire and the pics are photoshopped
You voted for Trump, huh?
Daddy! 👅
Damn! He missed me. I feel so left out. I want a Jaggerbaby!
Sure, and, Gene Simmons is all of our half-distant brother and Ozzy is our distant uncle. LOL! 😎
Does this mean were entitled to a portion of his estates when he kicks the bucket?
Asking for a friend. 😁
You can’t always get what you want….
Mark Moffatt Nashville music producer of Keith urban is my bio father.
I have no idea if I should be offended by this article or not🤪
I think I just got pregnant reading this article!
That’s a lot of child support!!!
People, this is a comedic, satirical magazine. 🤣
It’s more likely he’s my half brother. We were separated at born…
I was speaking to my friend’s neighbor last year. She told me her daughter was working after school at the United Nations, NYC. She was part of a goodwill program and got to stay with a British diplomat and his family in 1964. His children took her to the music clubs featuring all those British invasion bands. Back home sometimes later the girl received a phone call from one British boy she had met while in England. He was from a band and his publicist had sent him alone to NY as he was frightened of going on tour in America, the strangest place to him on Earth. The young lady asked if she could take him around NYC, but he claimed to have the flu and was too frightened to leave his hotel room. Her mother asked after she hung up, what was the lad’s name. “Mick Jagger”, the girl responded. 🙂
No..what a nonsense..It’s Robert Zimmerman aka Dylanoid…
LMFAOOOOOO!!!!!