Just hours after announcing that Metallica was cancelling their tour of Australia and New Zealand, they announced the tour was back on. Shockingly, Adam Lambert will be replacing James Hetfield as singer.
The tour was originally cancelled so James Hetfield could return to rehab. Drummer Lars Ulrich was not happy about this and frantically searched for singers to replace Hetfield.
“Axl Rose was busy with the Guns n Roses tour, so I tried every other singer around” said Ulrich. “I tried Gaga, Streisand, Manilow, Snoop Dogg, you name it but no one was available.”
RuPaul suggested to Lars that he should reach out to Adam Lambert. Lambert of course replaced Freddie Mercury in Queen and did such a ridiculous and embarrassing job, that Lars could not resist. “He’s just the man we need” beamed Ulrich.
Lambert was overjoyed at the chance to sing with Metallica. “I love them, ‘Stairway to Heaven’ is my favorite. I have the perfect outfit too. I have this awesome leather hot pants ensemble and I am going to bedazzle the words ‘Enter Sandman’ on the butt.”