ZZ Top Drummer Finally Grows Beard

In a stunning turn of events, Frank Beard, the drummer of the legendary rock band ZZ Top, has finally grown a beard! Yes, you read that right—after decades of sporting a smooth baby face, Frank has decided to embrace his inner lumberjack and join the ranks of the bearded brethren.

For years, fans have marveled at the irony of Frank’s name compared to his clean-shaven appearance. The other two members of ZZ Top, Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill, sported magnificent beards that would make even Rip Van Winkle jealous. But poor Frank? He was left out in the cold, beardless and seemingly lost in the sea of facial hair.

ZZ Top Drummer Finally Grows Beard

Rumors had circulated for years about the reasons behind Frank’s lack of a beard. Some believed he had an unfortunate shaving accident as a child, traumatizing him for life. Others speculated that he was rebelling against the other members of the band. But whatever the reason, the fact remained: Frank Beard had no beard.

But fear not, for the tides have turned! After purchasing and applying a mystery beard elixir, he sprouted a full-blown ZZ Top-worthy beard overnight. It was like a magic trick—poof, and there it was, as if a family of squirrels had been hiding in his face all along. Beard commented “Honestly, I could never grow a beard like the other guys. I played it off like I didn’t want a beard or I wanted to stand out. However, I was always jealous of Dusty and Billy. Whenever I tried to grow a beard it looked like a 1970s hooker was sitting on my face.”

Brotherhood

Frank continued while stroking his newfound whiskers with pride, “Growing this beard is a personal milestone. I wanted to prove to the world that just because your name is Beard, doesn’t mean you have to be bound by it. I’ve always been the odd one out, but now, I can finally say I’m part of the ZZ Top beard brotherhood. It feels liberating, man.”

When guitarist Billy Gibbons first saw the beard he cried like a baby. “Man it’s like seeing your child take his first steps” cried Gibbons. “I am so proud of my boy. Frank always tried with the mustaches, goatees, stubble, soul patches etc but it was sad. I felt sad for him. Now he has become a man. I no longer have to look back at the drums in shame.”