Woodstock 50 Relocated to Uranus! Elon Musk Takes Over!

In a final last ditch effort to save the dying event, Rocketeer Elon Musk has taken control of Woodstock 50 and vows to relocate to Uranus. 

“Uranus is dark and smelly” said Musk, “and there may be Klingons there, but I’m coming in. I will travel deep into Uranus and I will not not relent. Uranus is the future.”

Woodstock 50 was to take place at the site of the original 1969 festival, in Bethel Woods, with a who’s who of artists scheduled to appear. Slowly the plans began to crumble. Financial backers dropped out, artists dropped out, promoters and organizers were fighting. 

Organizers tried to relocate the concert to Maryland, Zimbabwe and Kamchatka. They tried everything, even vowing it would be a free concert. Nothing worked.

Elon Musk stepped in and bought the rights to the concert and will relocate Woodstock 50 to Uranus. All artists have backed out, except Jerry Garcia’s plumber and Cardi B. To bolster attendance, Musk will pay every attendee $100 and a free hit of acid. Concert goers will fly to Uranus on one of Musk’s ‘Spacex’ rockets.