Will Smith Returns To Oscars Restrained Like Hannibal Lecter
Will Smith has returned to the Oscars just 2 years after the infamous slap heard around the world. Even though Smith was given a 10 year ban from the ceremony, the academy agreed to allow Will to return under strict guidelines. Smith must be strapped to a dolly and wear a Hannibal Lecter mask . He must also be chaperoned at all times by 2 armed guards paid for by Smith himself.
The trouble started back in 2022 when Smith slapped Chris Rock silly for making fun of his bald headed cheating wife. Will explained that Jada took his manhood and he was a broken man. Things got worse for Smith at the after party when Chris Rock exacted his revenge.
When Rock spotted The Smith’s at the party he yelled out, “Hey Will I will keep your wife’s name out my mouth, but you tell your wife to keep my balls out her mouth.” Rock then ran up to Will and whacked him across the face with a sock full of quarters. Will Smith hit the floor like a sack of potatoes. Chris then made Jada hold his coat while he proceeded to kick Will in the ribs and the ‘nads and beat him with the sock full of quarters for 3 full minutes before security intervened. Rock then sat down and enjoyed a glass of champagne. “That’s How I Do It” laughed Rock.
Following these shocking events, The Academy delivered a 10 year ban on Will Smith. Smith cannot be within 500 yards of any Oscar related events. He shall not attend any Academy nominated movies or even watch them on TV. Will is also barred from eating movie theater style popcorn.
Will Smith Returns To Oscars
However after intense negotiations, the Academy relented and allowed Smith to attend the Oscars. As has been noted, in order to protect the safety of the staff, guests and celebrities, Smith must be aggressively restrained. 2 armed guards from the Pinkerton agency will escort Smith to the event. He will be strapped to a dolly and wheeled into the venue. As a secondary security measure he will be wearing a strait jacket and leg restraints. In order to prevent biting he will be wearing the infamous Hannibal Lecter mask.
Celebrities had mixed thoughts on Smith returning. Chris Rock laughed and commented, “That is the funniest thing I ever heard. Of course I want him wheeled in like Hannibal Lecter. I will throw things like olives and grapes at him all night.” Robert DeNiro however did not like the idea. “I am frightened, what if he gets loose. I am an old man and it’s scary, he might come after me.”
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