Trump Brokers Led Zeppelin Reunion

President Trump announced a peace deal that will normalize ties between Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, claiming there “would be many more Rock n Roll peace deals to come.”

“Three months ago, no one thought this was possible. Even Jonesy didn’t know if this was possible, right Jonesy?” Trump asked his ally, Led Zeppelin Bassist, John Paul Jones.

Plant and Page have agreed to a full reunion tour and have committed to releasing a new album by the summer of 2021. “Yeah we will give it a go” said Plant “We are gonna go all out just like it was 1973 again. There’s going to be groupies, drugs, sex, fish, black magic, devil worshipping, destroying hotel rooms, no masks, you name it.”

Jimmy Page added, “When Trump first contacted us, I didn’t hold much hope Robert would agree to it, but Trumpy got us together in a room and locked the door. He put a contract and a pistol on the table and said no one is leaving until there is a signed contract. 20 minutes later the deal was done.” 

They’re one of the most successful bands of all time, but Led Zeppelin disbanded in 1980 following the sudden death of drummer John Bonham. Over the years Jimmy Page, Robert Plant and John Paul Jones have reunited for one-off gigs. And the last Led Zeppelin reunion took place at a bar mitzvah in 2007, but they haven’t reunited for a concert since. 

The president said that at least five other rock bands wanted peace. “We have many lined up. They want to come in, get the deal done. We have Simon & Garfunkel, The Kinks, Oasis, Fleetwood Mac & Kiss. With others in the pipeline. It’s going to be huge.”