Tony Iommi Working As Court Bailiff To Make Ends Meet
Tony Iommi working as Court Bailiff. Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi has a new profession. The rocker has taken a job as a court bailiff. Iommi, on hiatus from his rock star duties, due to all the lockdowns, has taken a job as a court bailiff with the Eleventh Judicial Circuit Court of Nevada.
Tony Iommi
“I knew we were not going to be touring for a long time, if ever again”, said Iommi, “and I have a lot of expenses. I need to make some money. So I saw an ad on the back of a book of matches. It said, Do you think you got what it takes? Be the envy of your friends and learn to be a court bailiff. So I called them up and spent 6 weeks of the lockdown studying online. I graduated at the top of my class and I was hired right away.”
Court Bailiff
Nevada called, so this summer, Iommi packed up his family and moved to Clark County, Nevada – just outside of Las Vegas. “I love it” said Iommi. I get to wear a uniform and you know the ladies love a man in uniform. And the best part is, I sometimes get to beat the crap out of people. If any defendants get out of line, I put a hurtin’ on them. You don’t want to get squirrelly in my court room. I will be your worst nightmare.”
Madhouse News called Ozzy Osbourne for comment and he stated “Who is this? Tony’s in a madhouse? I was in a madhouse for 6 months back in the 1980’s – a rubber room with a strait jacket, the whole thing. Well I wish him well. I hope he gets out before we go on tour again next tour. Tell him I said hello.”
$36K
“Things are good” said Iommi, “I am making $36K per year to start. I am driving a new Toyota, the sun is out, the bbq is hot and the pool is luke. Don’t get no better than that.” Fan Joshua Cummings told Madhouse News, “Dude, I was arrested for meth and I am at court just sitting there listening to the judge go on and on. I am looking at this bailiff and thinking I know this guy. Then it comes to me and I jump up and yell Sabbath! Iommi comes running over and tases my testicles and drags me out. It was awesome.”
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