Stevie Wonder Falls in Open Manhole in NYC: Vows to Sue

Blind musician Stevie Wonder fell into an open manhole while visiting New York City. Wonder was strolling around the city when he fell into the open manhole injuring his leg and bruising his ribs. He also tore his perineum. 

The manhole located near New York University had been left open by the “Laying Pipe” Plumbing Company while a blockage was being cleared. Stevie was in town to receive an honorary doctorate of humane letters from NYU. 

Stevie Wonder vs. Open Manhole

Wonder told Madhouse News, “I love New York City, It’s just like I pictured it with skyscrapers and everything. I was here to pick up some stupid honorary degree or something. My bird cage needs lining so I pickup at least one of those nonsense degrees per week. It was a beautiful warm day so I wanted to go for a stroll. Of course it’s hard for a blind man to get around a big city but I had my stick and I am pretty good with that thing. Who the heck expected a giant hole in the ground with no warnings. They should have had a guy with a bell yelling watch out for the open man hole.” 

Wonder did not see the yellow tape or cones and fell right into the open manhole. He was stuck for an hour. Passers-by tried to help. Jokesters were laughing and snapping selfies as poor Stevie was wedged into the sewer. 

A man named Robert Ceisler lives right by the hole. Ceisler witnessed the incident and told Madhouse News what he witnessed. “It just happened that quick,” Ceisler said. “My wife and I both watched him walk straight into the hole, Non Stop No warning. Come to think of it we should have yelled or something.” After Ceisler reached out to the Laying Pipe Plumbing Company, an employee came out and put up a handwritten sign that said Hey Blind People watch out for the hole. 

Laying Pipe

Wonder vowed to sue the city and Laying Pipe Plumbing. “I tore my perineum, do you have any idea how much that hurts? Do you even know what that is? It’s the area between the wobbly bits and the booty-hole. You know some people call it the ”taint” “grundel” or “gooch”. Usually women tear this during child birth. It was very embarrassing for a man to be in the hospital for a taint injury. I heard some doctors and nurses snickering. NYC is going to pay me dearly for this.”

Stevie continued, “I used to have a seeing eye little person. He would travel around with me and tell me turn here, a car is coming or watch out for the open manhole. I had to set the little guy free in the woods. Apparently, this practice is now frowned upon. He was so much better than a stick or a dog.”

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