Stacy Abrams Enlisted to Pull Swimmers From NYC Beaches

New York City Mayor Bill Deblasio warned today that the city is serious about keeping swimmers out of the water at its public beaches Memorial Day weekend.

“We brought in the big guns” said Deblasio. “If Anyone tries to get in the water, they’ll be taken right out of the water by Stacy Abrams,” he told reporters.

Abrams is the current Democratic party darling. She is considered a supermodel and the favorite to become Joe Biden’s running mate. Abrams recently posed for a glamorous photo shoot with Popular Mechanics. 

“I will snatch you, I will drag you, I will dog walk a bitch right out the water” screamed Abrams. “I don’t play, I will slap you through Sunday and be waiting for you on Monday”. 

Deblasio continued to talk down to the citizens of NYC, “this is your chance to prove yourself, if you behave yourselves, I may allow you to put your feet in the water by July 4th. But if you don’t behave yourself, I will enlist Stacy Abrams sister ‘Big Debbie’ to assist in pulling you out of the water.”