Slayer Reunites To Star in Hallmark Christmas Movie

Heavy Metal band Slayer will appear as themselves in a brand new Christmas movie on the Hallmark channel. The movie is titled “A Very Slayer Christmas” and will air this holiday season. 

The plot of the movie involves heavy metal legends Slayer returning to their hometown of Pigeon Forge, TN, to perform a concert to save “The Christmas Inn”. The Inn belongs to the Aunt of Slayer’s singer/bass player Tom Araya. The Aunt is played by Cassandra Peterson aka Elvira. Obviously The writers make generous use of “artistic license” to say the least. 

Slayer Hallmark Christmas Movie

“The Christmas Inn” has been in the Araya family for generations but has seen better days. In debt, the Inn is in jeopardy of being bought by a giant New York City real estate conglomerate, “Worldwide Incorporated”. “WWI” sends their best agent to Pigeon Forge to close down the Inn so they can build condo’s and a golf course on the 75 acre land. 

The plot thickens when Tom Araya falls in love with the icy real estate agent played by Danica McKellar. McKellar of course, is best known for her role as Kevin Arnold’s love interest, Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. 

Writers throw in even more romance as Slayer guitarist Kerry King finds love. King falls in love with his high school sweetheart, played by Candace Cameron Bure. Candace is another Hallmark regular formerly known for her work as DJ Tanner on the 1980’s sitcom Full House. 

Happily Ever After

In the finale, Slayer puts on a huge concert to save the Inn. They perform their songs, Dead Skin Mask, Necrophiliac and Angel of Death. The band decides to relocate to Pigeon Forge, TN and run “The Christmas Inn”. The movie fades out as the band members embrace their new flames to the sounds of the Slayer love ballad, “Hell Awaits”. Everyone lives happily ever after. 

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