Seven Year Old Genius With Sign Causes Pandemonium

A young boy with a brilliant idea, caused traffic to backup for miles as hundreds of women exposed themselves.

Seven year old Jacob Phistergash, held up a sign declaring, “Show Me Your Boobs If You Hate Racism” in downtown Portland. Men and Women of all ages were visibly shaken as they read the sign and did not know how to react. In fear of being declared racists, most begrudgingly exposed themselves.

“What else could I do” said 65 year old Eileen Lipschutz. “I’m woke and I hate racism so I had to show my boobs. I haven’t shown my boobs in public since the summer of 1980 when I went to Mardi Gras. It was like Sophie’s Choice. Well I’m not sure what that movie was about but I think her dilemma was similar to this.”

Dilemma

“People’s heads were literally exploding” said witness Claude Bello. “I could see the lightbulb over their heads and the thought process. People are watching, I do not want to show my boobies, but if I don’t then that means I like racism. I do not like racism so I have to show my boobs. Some people collapsed on the street, overcome from thinking and guilt. It looked like Vietnam, people lying in the street sobbing, screaming what do I do, help me. It was a mess.”

Seven Year Old Genius With Sign Causes Pandemonium — The Bell Rang!

Traffic was snarled in all directions. The interstate was backed up for 7 miles as word spread and ‘rubber neckers’ and ‘looky loos’ jockeyed for position to witness history.

Jacob’s father, Willy Phistergash, stated “Jacob is very precocious and is always getting into mischief. He is a smart little boy and he knew exactly the quandary it would cause for the less intelligent people. I would have a good mind to punish him, if it wasn’t so darn funny.”