Sebastian Maniscalco Emerges From Self Imposed Exile

Author: Claudia Stavola

Comedian Sebastian Maniscalco was seen for the first time after being in hiding since the backlash he faced after hosting the 2019 MTV VMAs.

Maniscalco came under fire by a slew of bitter babies, also known as feminists with blogs, for his opening monologue. In it, he joked about a safe-space backstage for anybody triggered by the material and offered an emotional support horse for people to pet in said safe-space. Women with bristly vaginas everywhere, and men who behave like vaginas, quickly put on their Feelings Police uniforms and took to the internet to protect anybody who may have been damaged by the big, scary, life-altering, words.

Some audience members had to be placed in giant vats of placenta in order to feel protected from the dangerous jokes being shoved down their throats. Interesting side note: Vats of placenta were not available for those needing protection from p.c. terminology and coddling being shoved down their throats. Maniscalco caused such a temperamental climate within the audience by referencing things that might take them out of their safety bubbles; razor blades had to be included in swag bags so cutters could relieve stress during Maniscalco’s mockery of participation trophies.

The comedian hadn’t been seen since the event, but finally emerged from his home yesterday—apparently with a new attitude. Neighbor, Ima Buttafaas managed to snap some images that she shared with Madhouse. The pictures show he surfaced looking about 60 pounds heavier wearing ketchup-stained Looney Tunes pajama bottoms and a belly shirt that had an arrow pointing to his gut that read: “I’m real with it, so just deal with it.” Apparently, he decided to live by the “be proud no matter what” mantra of his critics. He was heading to the airport with his new emotional support emu that he needed after being triggered by the reviews of his hosting performance.