Sebastian Bach to Play Samantha on New Sex & The City Series

HBO confirmed that the beloved “Sex & The City” series is officially coming back. However, it will not be in the form of a movie as first rumored. Instead, the show’s newest attempt to cash in on its former glory, will be a limited series titled, And Just Like That…

Series stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis all recently posted to their social media accounts to confirm that they will be reviving their roles in the new series. They all posted the exact same thing, “Cha-Ching”. Kim Cattrall played Samantha Jones in the original series and subsequent movies. 

Samantha Jones

In a shocking move, HBO confirmed that Cattrall will not be part of the new series cast, but will instead be replaced by aging rocker, Sebastian Bach. Cattrall apparently has had a long standing feud with the rest of the cast and especially star Sarah Jessica Parker. 

Cattrall revealed a “toxic relationship” existed between her and her co-stars. “I couldn’t stand those hags. That horse faced witch was the worst. That ginger freak with the yellow teeth grossed me out. The other one was nice, but I am sorry I can’t even remember her name.”

Sarah Jessica Parker told Madhouse News that, “Cattrall is like 90 now. Bach is a much better fit and is perfect to play the part of a gin soaked, bloated, std infested woman in her late 50’s. I love Sebastian, we were in CATS together on Broadway. I hired him as my chauffeur for many years when he was going through his troubles.”

Skid Row

Bach is the lead singer of the 80’s hair metal band, Skid Row. When questioned, Sarah could not name any Skid Row songs, but ensured us that she was a big fan of the band. “I want to say 18 or something. Wait, Every Rose Has a Thorn? No, More Than Words? Oh I give up but I am a big fan.”

Bach is delighted to play the part. “I am so excited. I love Sex and The City. Samantha Jones is a great part. I grew up with these characters, and I can’t wait to see how their story has evolved in this new chapter, with the honesty, poignancy, humor, and the beloved city that has always defined them.”

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