Santana Makes Amends By Re-Making Hit Song w Dylan Mulvaney

Legendary guitarist Carlos Santana was forced to make amends by re-recording one of his hit songs with Dylan Mulvaney. Santana was in hot water for making controversial comments. In a shocking tirade, Carlos stated that he believes a man is a man and a woman is a woman.

Carlos Santana faced criticism on Thursday when a video of the musician making the scandalous comments during a concert in New Jersey in July resurfaced on social media. A mob quickly formed outside of his tour bus carrying pitchforks and torches.

Carlos Santana & Dylan Mulvaney

Carlos issued an apology: “I realize that what I said hurt people, and that was not my intent. I sincerely apologize to everyone I offended.” However, by the following morning, Santana removed that message from his Facebook page and replaced it with a more succinct post in the form of a poem: “Roses are Red, Violets are blue, When I flush the toilet, I remember you.”

Santana Makes Amends By Re-Making Hit Song w Dylan Mulvaney

This infuriated the powers that be and Santana was summoned to appear before the board of a top secret organization. When Carlos refused, he was clubbed over the head, blindfolded, thrown in a van and driven to an undisclosed location. A pseudo court quickly ruled against Santana and then a “judge” handed down the sentence.

The Magic Birthing Person of Color

Carlos was forced to drink a full six pack of Bud Light beer and then remake one of his biggest songs. His classic song “Black Magic Woman” was reworked as “The Magic Birthing Person of Color”. Superstar Dylan Mulvaney was brought in to sing the new song as Santana played guitar. Goons held Carlos down and forced him to watch and listen to the total destruction of his song.

Santana later revealed, “It was like a sick episode of the squid games. Or like that scene from Casino when they held Joe Pesci down and forced him to watch as they beat his brother with baseball bats. Look what they done to my song. It is a mess, I vomit every time I think about it. I have another poem for these sonsofbitches: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, The middle one is for you.”