‘Rush’ Drummer Neil Peart Selected to Guide Santa’s Sleigh

Rush Drummer Neil Peart received a high honor today, as he was personally selected by Santa Claus to guide his sleigh this Christmas. 

Santa Claus is expecting a very foggy Christmas eve this year and was considering cancelling Christmas completely. Rudolph the reindeer is currently in prison on an outstanding warrant, and is unavailable. Santa’s elf Rich “Geddy” Pacesa who is a huge ‘Rush’ fan, mentioned his favorite drummer to Santa. Pacesa commented “I said hey Santa, what about Neil Peart? Peart has a huge bulbous red nose, a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.”  

Santa was flabbergasted when he saw Peart. “Jeez look at the honker on that guy” said Santa “he makes Rudolph look like a plastic surgeons daughter. At first I thought he was eating a tomato. I had to put on my shades to look at him. Peart is my man to guide the sleigh for sure.”

Peart happily accepted Santa’s offer. “I am honored” said Peart “I am glad to save Christmas for all the little children all over the world. God Bless us all, everyone.”