Ronnie James Dio Statue Cries Tears of Blood Drawing Crowds in Bulgaria

Heavy Metal fans are flocking to pray at the feet of a Ronnie James Dio statue in Bulgaria after it was spotted crying tears of blood. Crowds descended on the Black Sea coastal town of Kavarna, Bulgaria, following reports of the “miracle.”

The statue – erected in 2010 – has been completely mobbed by zealous metal fans desperate to witness the amazing spectacle. Video footage shows pilgrims at the base of the statue just as a ‘bloody tear’ appears to fall from its right eye.

Go Home

Thousands of drunken metal fans clad in leather and denim descended upon the small city of Kavarna. They have overwhelmed the towns resources and have been camping in the city’s Central Park. “I wish these dirty smelly freaks would go home” said Kavarna’s Mayor. “They have turned our beautiful little town into a heavy metal toilet”.

The statue has already been linked to several ‘miracles’, such as a woman who had a seven-inch tumor which reportedly disappeared after she visited it. Jennifer Dunlop claims, “Immediately after touching the statue my stomach tumor disappeared. I felt a rumbly in my tumbly and the tumor drops right out in the $hitter”.

Ronnie James Dio

Dio fan Lars Bulson reported, “I came here seeking a cure for my club foot. My left foot is a Men’s size 11 and my right foot is a Child’s size 6. Since I was six years old I wore Frankenstein boots and braces. After touching the Dio statue I now stand 6 foot tall and can run like a gazelle, it is a miracle, God Bless Ronnie James Dio”.

A number of weeping statues have been declared fake by Heavy Metal officials over the years. Eddie Trunk, President of the Heavy Metal Association of America said, “It is unclear if the spectacle is a true miracle, the result of condensation or someone’s idea of a joke”.