Robert Plant Uses Karate Skills to Disarm Gunman

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Rock legend Robert Plant used his karate skills to disarm a gunman today. A man attempting to carry out an armed robbery on a corner shop, ended up pinned to the floor and “begging” to be released by singer Robert Plant – a black belt in karate. CCTV footage showed the man threatening the shop owner and an assistant with a gun, before being thrown to the floor by Robert Plant. Police later arrived, alerted via the shop’s silent alarm.

The incident happened in the branch of Premier Supersaver in Evington, on the outskirts of Leicester. Plant popped into the shop for a bag of crisps, some bangers & mash, and a pack of fags. If you are not British you may need the above sentences translated. Robert was minding his own business deciding between Cheese & Onion crisps or Prawn Cocktail flavored. when he heard a commotion. At this point The Golden God dropped his crisps and sprung into action.

Robert Plant Uses Karate Skills

Robert walked right up to the criminal with reckless abandonment. The man was startled and pointed the gun right at Plant. Percy grabbed the assailant’s wrist and snapped it like a twig. With the man writhing in agony, Plant swept his legs out from under and he dropped like a sack of potatoes.

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Plant then wrestled the attacker into submission using a leg lock that left the attacker pleading to be released. “I saw this big bloke waving a gun at the shop keeper’s head” said Plant. “I put a hurt on him, and he started crying like a baby. Woo Woo, let me go, I’m sorry. Well I told him too late mate, we are waiting for police. Then he recognized me and asked me what’s a bustle in a hedgerow. I smacked him with a bottle for that one. And he was wearing a Rolling Stones shirt to boot!” 

Despite the assailant’s pleas, Plant held him down for about 20 minutes – refusing to let him go until police arrived. “It turns out the guy was a big Led Zeppelin fan” said Plant. “He kept asking me about a Led Zeppelin reunion, and that got me angry, so I would choke him a little harder every time. Good thing the cops showed up when they did because the guy asked me how do I write songs. I was going to break his neck.”

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