Rob Halford Interview

By Claudia Stavola

Madhouse: This is your second Christmas album? What was your inspiration?

Rob Halford: Glitter, of course! Have you seen me in red sparkles? Come on mate. Don’t be ridiculous.

Madhouse: Do you have any special childhood Christmas memories?

Halford: As a young lad, me mum used to give us kids all the candy we wanted on Christmas. My teeth rotted out before I turned eight. People don’t realize that’s how I became the Painkiller. Losing all your teeth as a child makes you toughen up pretty quick. But let me tell you man, I could gum anything by age nine. My favorite banger, even now, is an Oxford sausage.

Madhouse: Judas Priest’s 50^th anniversary is coming up. How do you plan to celebrate?

Halford: Of course there will be a huge tour with lots of surprises. Fans keep asking about K.K. and whether or not he’ll join us. We’re in talks as we speak. The idea is to suspend him from the rafters over the stage and let fans throw bottles of Ensure at him for some giggles. Ensure is our new sponsor since our fanbase are malnourished septuagenarians. 

Madhouse: Have you thought about what you’ll say if you’re inducted into the Rock Hall next year?

Halford: Yeah, of course. We’ve been eligible since ’99. It’s complete bollocks, especially when Notorious BIG is also a nominee. Nothing against him but it’s the bloody Rock Hall, not the Fat Dead Rapper Hall. My speech will be a lyric from one of his songs since they don’t deserve Priest. This is what I’m saying that night, “I’m dipping up the block and I’m robbing bitches too. Up the herringbones and bamboos. I wouldn’t give a fuck if you’re pregnant. Give me the baby rings and the No. 1 mom pendant.” And then I’ll ride my motorcycle on stage right into Jon Landau’s pudgy face. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

Madhouse: So back to your Christmas album, Celestial. In today’s politically correct climate, do you think you should’ve called it a holiday album rather than a Christmas album?

Halford: (Halford is visibly angered) Isn’t that what blokes like Neil Diamond and Adam Sandler are for? How the fuck am I supposed to rhyme something with yarmulke? Those pc wankers can suck my yuletide log! A guy with a crazy beard and big black boots, and a giant belt buckle that makes people want to sing? There’s nothing more metal than Christmas! 

Madhouse: You have some originals and some covers on the album. I love “Donner and Blitzen.” That song rocks hard. Is there a Christmas song that most reminds you of your childhood?

Halford: Yeah. “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth,” of course!