Ringo Strangles Fan with Peace Symbol

Author: Claudia Stavola

Ringo Starr was arrested after performing at Woodstock 50 when he couldn’t get a fan on board with his peace and love mantra. Starr has long been known for ending interviews, as well as videos for fans, with his famous sign-off “peace and love.”

After a rousing performance of “You’re Sixteen,” (an arousing performance for the perverted kid-lovers in the crowd), Ringo got the crowd to chant “Peace and love; peace and love” with him. Onlookers say he noticed a guy in the crowd who refused to join in, so Starr launched himself into the sea of straggly gray hair and Birkenstocks yelling, “What’s your fucking problem mate? You don’t like peace.” As the two continued to argue about peace, Ringo finally had enough.

Concert-goer Irving Livshitz saw the scuffle unfold, “I saw Ringo make eye contact with the victim, Harry Balzak. When Ringo noticed he wasn’t chanting, his eyes grew wide with rage. He took the giant peace symbol that was part of the stage décor and wrapped it around Mr. Balzak’s neck. I wanted to help, but I’m a Jewish dentist.”

Another eyewitness said Starr got a gash on his arm when he got tangled up in a fan’s toenails that looked like Fritos Scoops. He went on to say that while Balzak began to turn blue, rather than help, the rest of the peace-loving crowd joined in with Starr to pummel the idea of loving thy neighbor into Balzak’s thick head.