Rihanna, A$AP Rocky, Chris Brown Involved in Delivery Room Brawl

The delivery room became the stage for a wild donnybrook as Rihanna, Chris Brown, A$AP Rocky and assorted family members found themselves in the midst of a crazy brawl. Rihanna was in the hospital delivering her second child when ex-boyfriend Chris Brown burst in the room. A$AP confronted Brown and a melee broke out as family members joined in.

Soon Aunts, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, and even Grandmas of the three celebs were throwing punches. Medical equipment went flying, and an orderly’s mop bucket somehow became a weapon. A broom handle became lodged in Brown’s rectum. Hospital staff found themselves caught in the crossfire. Nurses and Doctors went running for cover.

Rihanna Delivery Room Brawl

Brown grabbed a defibrillator and attached the paddles to A$AP’s head. With one paddle attached to each ear he turned the device on and shocked the crap out of Rocky. As he was foaming at the mouth, A one legged man then bashed Brown over the head repeatedly with a loaded bedpan.

Rihanna, ASAP Rocky, Chris Brown Involved in Delivery Room Brawl

Two elderly ladies were involved in a bare knuckled brawl in the hallway. They began to pummel each other with the skill of a professional boxer. The blows were fast and accurate. Teeth, dentures, earrings and weaves littered the floor. At this point The fight spilled out into the parking lot. One woman was knocked into a wheelchair and then pushed down a flight of stairs.

Eventually, cooler heads prevailed, and the delivery room dust-up came to a screeching halt with the help of security and local police. The hospital released a statement, commending the passion and energy of these talented artists while expressing gratitude that no serious injuries occurred. Meanwhile, the newborn, miraculously unperturbed by the ruckus, made a grand entrance into this world as if choreographed by the drama-loving universe.

Rihanna released a statement, “WTF, I am trying to push a bowling ball through my hoohah and these jackasses are acting a fool all around me. At one point I am on my back breathing and pushing. Three seventy year old women are rubbing my back, and feeding me ice chips as they punch each other in the face.”