Remembering Jerry Garcia

Jerome John Garcia was born August 1, 1942 in San Francisco, California. Jerry was named after comedian Jerry Lewis. His Mother was a huge fan of the comedian. Little Jerry would often run around the house with his foot in a bucket yelling “Hey Lady” to make his mom laugh.

How did Jerry lose the middle finger on his right hand? Jerry was a naughty boy, and one of the nuns at St Mary’s School for Boys, chopped the middle finger on his right hand off after Jerry flipped her the bird. Jerry didn’t let that slow him down. He later charged the other students 25 cents each to look at the stub.

Young Jerry enlisted in the Army when he was just 17, but was dishonorably discharged and Court Marshalled twice, 9 days later, for annoying everyone with the Kazoo and Banjo.

Jerry Garcia was the beloved singer, songwriter, and guitarist of The Grateful Dead. The man is a legend and is dearly missed. Jerry Owns the record for most LSD trips taken by 1 human being. Between 1965 and his death in 1995, Jerry took LSD 9,000 times. That is an average of 300 times a year for 30 years. Quite impressive.  

Jam On

The Grateful Dead once released a 46 disc boxed CD set, that only contained one song. It was an extended jam of the Hank Williams record, ‘The Love Bug Itch.’ It featured instruments such as the jug, wash tub bass, harmonica, washboard, and the kazoo.

John Mayer

It is rumored that Jerry Garcia contacts the rest of the Grateful Dead via a Medium and yells at them for playing with John Mayer!? Jerry apparently calls them sellouts for playing with a corporate douche like Mayer. This has recenty been confirmed by Bob Weir. “Garcia has been visiting me every night at the stroke of midnight. Garcia’s ghost vows to return every night until Weir gets rid of Mayer. 

Bob continued, “On the first night, Jerry took me to visit Haight Ashbury, Woodstock, Altamont and all the good times we had together. The second night he took me to visit a John Mayer concert. The third night he took me to see my legacy if I don’t stop this Mayer nonsense. It wasn’t pretty.” Weir declared that he has come to his senses and vows to get rid of Mayer immediately. “Maybe now Jerry can rest in peace. I see the error of my ways and will replace Mayer immediately with someone cool and shares our musical values. Jerry is always right.”