Remembering Elvis Presley

Elvis Aaron Presley was born January 8, 1935 in a 2 room shotgun shack in Tupelo Mississippi. We are not sure WTF a shotgun shack is, but it sounds pretty crappy.

Did you know Elvis’s identical twin brother, Jesse Garon Presley, was delivered 35 minutes before him, stillborn. Elvis kept Jesse in a glass jar of formaldehyde. Throughout his career, Elvis spoke to Jesse in times of trouble and often sought his advice on business and legal matters. You can currently see Jesse, as he is now part of the Graceland tour.

Col Parker

Elvis played only five concerts outside the U.S., all on a 3-day tour of Canada in 1957. Many believe that the reason why he never toured abroad again was that his longtime manager, Colonel Tom Parker, was an illegal immigrant from Holland who would have been deported had he applied for a U.S. passport. It is rumored that Col Tom ran guns in Africa during WWII – Col. Parker is said to have always had an eye for talent and for a quick buck – prior to managing Elvis, Parker reportedly painted homing pigeons yellow to sell them as canaries. They would return to Parker and he would resell them.

Elvis’ 1960 hit “It’s Now or Never” so inspired a prisoner who heard it in jail that he vowed to pursue a career in music upon his release. The artist, Barry White, was then serving a 4-month sentence for stealing a ham sandwich.

Elvis aka The King, aka Sugar Balls, is the biggest recording artist of all time. The man changed the world! He has sold the most records and is inducted into every Hall of Fame including The wrestling Hall of Fame in Stillwater, Texas. Elvis was fond of wrestling teen girls in his underpants and once wrestled Bubbles The Chimp.

Elvis moved to Memphis, met Sam Phillips, gyrated his hips, Milton Berle, Ed Sullivan, F*ck Steve Allen, F*ck Colonel Tom, made some of the greatest music ever recorded, made some sh*tty movies, 1968 comeback Cool AF, Hawaii, Nixon, Peanut Butter Bananas, Graceland, Priscilla, Lisa Marie. 1977. Goodbye. Elvis We Love You!