Man finds Rat Penis in his GabaGool!

Claude Balls

Vito Strafacci of Staten Island NY had the surprise of his life Saturday night when he got his meal with a little something extra in it. Vito went to his favorite restaurant, “The Spaghetti Bucket” on Hylan Blvd. in Staten Island, and when he bit into the Capicola salad, he tasted something salty and rubbery. When he inspected further, he realized he had a tiny rat penis in his mouth. He immediately threw up and rinsed his mouth with bleach, but could not get the sickening thought out of his mind. I have not been able to sleep and I have not digested a decent meal in weeks since this incident occurred said Mr. Strafacci. I have headaches and I cannot perform with my wife. My friends are accusing me of being homosexual since I had a penis in my mouth. Even though it was a rat penis and was a mistake. PETA is sending me death threats. I am beside myself said Mr Strafacci. The owner of the restaurant Angie Spumoni said she has no idea how something like this could have happened. We checked all the rats in the basement and none of them are missing a penis. Mr. Strafacci said he will seek legal actions and compensation. Mr. Strafaccci’s attorney Shlomo Weingarten stated, “what if the rat had chlamydia or aids”? We just don’t know how this will impact Mr. Strafacci, and we are seeking 7.5 million dollars which we believe to be a fair amount considering the grievous nature of this incident. The restaurant has countered with an offer of a free lifetime supply of GabaGool.  
Led by Liv Warfield of Prince’s New Power Generation and Nancy Wilson co-founder of Heart, ROADCASE ROYALE has a rich background in rock and R&B. Warfield, Wilson, and their bandmates bring their decades of experience from the upper echelon of the music industry to ROADCASE ROYALE, along with a renewed sense of direction and drive.
Joining Wilson and Warfield are Warfield’s lead guitarist Ryan Waters and Heart veterans Dan Rothchild (bass), Ben Smith (Drums) and Chris Joyner (Keys). Each of these members shine with their various sensibilities creating the group’s sensitive, passionate, and driving rock and R&B sound.

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