Phish Fan Divorces Wife After Discovering She Lied About Liking Phish

Phish fan, Craig Piechura has filed for divorce from his wife of 2 years, after a deep dark secret was revealed.

Piechura met his future wife, Sarah Hinman, at a Phish concert on August 31, 2018. “It was love at first sight” said Piechura. “It was at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park in Colorado. I saw Sarah on Shakedown Street, at the Nitrous Oxide tanks. We shared a ballon, conversation and wine. We were inseparable after that.”

Phishy

“Things were great” continued Piechura. “We got married, bought a hippie van and followed Phish everywhere. It was idyllic. A dirty hippie Camelot, if you will. I started to get suspicious, however, like 6 months later, when I heard Sarah listening to The Ramones. Real Phish fans only listen to Phish and Dave Matthews and other jam band crap. They can’t be listening to The Ramones!”

Phish Fan Divorces Wife After Discovering She Lied About Liking Phish

“One Day I overheard Sarah talking on the phone to a friend, and she was badmouthing Phish. I thought I heard her say that Phish was like the Grateful Dead minus the good songs, personality and cool band members.”

I Hate Phish

Craig confronted Sarah, who immediately broke down and cried. “I lied. I hate Phish. They are the absolute worst. I only said I liked them to trap you into marrying me. How can anyone like that trash. The music is completely devoid of any kind of melody and the band members are ugly. They are goofy and play the same song for like an hour. I can’t pretend any longer.”

Craig was devastated and immediately filed for divorce. “I cannot have that kind of negativity in my life” cried Craig. “Sarah I love you, but I love Phish more. I need to go back on tour and hang with some Wooks. I wish Sarah the best, but I cannot be with someone who does not share my love of Phish.”