Phil Murphy Hands Out Marijuana Candy to Kids!

New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy turned heads when he recently handed out marijuana gummies to kindergarten students.

Murphy and his Lt. Governor Tommy Chong, made a surprise visit to the Nut Bush Elementary School in Middletown NJ to hand out edible marijuana candy to students. “Step right up kiddies, we got gummies, we got chocolates, we got whatever you need. It’s delicious and it will make you happy” barked Murphy at the children, some of who were as young as 5 years old. “We gotta start em young” said Murphy. “There is a lot of money to be made off these kids” explained Murphy. “Weed is the most important part of NJ’s future. It will solve all our problems” exclaimed a gleeful and obviously stoned Murphy. 

Murphy a strong proponent of marijuana legalization, won the election due in part to his “weed platform”. Murphy, who was backed by “big weed” and Mexican drug cartels, vowed to make weed the number one issue on his agenda. 

“Some students got giggly, others got sick. It was a good time” said Principal Jeff Spicoli. “There was a run on the snack machines in the afternoon, all our funyons were sold out. We brought in some Pizza and played some Grateful Dead music over the loudspeakers. It was a special day.” 

“I am a little alarmed about giving young students weed candy during school”, said Nut Bush teacher, Mrs. Bindergarten. “However, it is a step up from the last Governor who was involved with closing bridges and causing traffic.”