Paul Simon Creates Robot Twin That Sings Like Garfunkel But Does Not Speak

Paul Simon shocked fans today when he revealed a lifelike robot that can sing exactly like his former singing partner Art Garfunkel. “The Robot can do everything that Garfunkel does but it actually has an off switch” joked Simon. “The robot looks just like me, so I don’t have to look at that ridiculous Larry three stooges hair of Garfunkel. This humanoid can sing then shut up and not bug me. We will be touring this year as Simon and Simon. Take that Art!”

Simon and his friend Art Garfunkel made beautiful music together during the 1960s. The duo had a troubled relationship, leading to artistic disagreements and their breakup in 1970. Simon released a solo album and Garfunkel was acting in movies. The final straw came when Art demanded they change the band name to Garfunkel and Simon.

Troubled Waters

Their final studio album, Bridge Over Troubled Waters became one of the best selling albums of all time. The recording of the album was tense to say the least. Simon continually referred to Garfunkel as “Monkey Scrotum” and “Senor doucheface”. Garfunkel made fun of Paul’s height and was constantly picking him up and tousling his hair.

Paul Simon Creates Robot Twin That Sings Like Garfunkel But Does Not Speak

The GarfunkelX29 humanoid was created by the Vandalay Robotics in Singapore. It is able to talk like us, walk like us, and express a wide range of emotions. The humanoid can hold a conversation and will remember the last interaction you had with them. The GarfunkelX29 can also fart, belch and scratch itself. Of course that all can be disabled with the flip of a switch.

12 Octave Range

The robot is an exact likeness of Paul Simon but has a 12 octave vocal range. It has perfect pitch and built in auto tune. There are over 500 pre recorded voices available. The voices include everyone from Pavarotti, Robert Plant, Stevie Nicks, Janis Joplin, Freddie Mercury, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Aretha and Ella to Art Garfunkel.

“I am suing” said Garfunkel. “There is no way that it can be legal to use my voice without my permission and not have to put up with my bull crap. I was the star of that band and I made Simon what he is today. A little troll worth $100 million dollars. Without me he would still be busking in the subway. That little freak would be nothing without me. I created that monster and I will destroy him and his little robot too.”