Paul McCartney No Longer Vegan: “Screw This I Am Eating Meat!”

Longtime vegan Paul McCartney has declared that he is no longer vegan and will be eating all the meat he can get his hands on. 

Paul McCartney, once a spokesperson for Vegan-ism, declared that he is eating meat. “With the possibility of the end of the world coming and me being cooped up for weeks, I am having a cheeseburger” tweeted Paul. 

“Paul has been on a 3 day meat binge” said his wife Nancy. “He started with cheeseburgers, steak, chicken fingers, hot dogs and now he has even spit roasted an entire pig in the yard. He has gained 7 lbs and has spent an awful lot of time in the bathroom.”

“It was well worth it” screamed Paul from the toilet. “OMG meat is delicious. I am sick of fake chicken and fake burgers and salad coming out of my arse! I need meat dam it! I urge you all to follow me down that long and winding delicious road of meat.”

Vegans and PETA have gone into a panic and in order to save face have declared that McCartney must be crazy with fever or delirious from quarantine. 

“Yeah let those freaks at PETA say what they want,” laughed Paul. “I am perfectly sane and I just ordered a sack of White Castle burgers!”