Paul McCartney: I Was Fully Aroused While Being Knighted By Queen Elizabeth

In a recent interview with Madhouse Magazine, Paul McCartney admitted that he was fully engorged during his knighting ceremony. 

On March 11, 1997, Paul McCartney was knighted by Queen Elizabeth for his services to music. The lad from Liverpool became Sir Paul in a centuries old ceremony of pomp and circumstance at Buckingham Palace in London. 

“It was all too much. So very exciting” said Paul. “I couldn’t believe that as I knelt down before the Queen, I felt my pants tighten. I thought to myself oh god no. Not now. I felt like a schoolboy called up by the teacher but I had no books to put in my lap to conceal my tallywhacker. I was in front of the Queen with a stiffie. I did everything I could think of. I pictured my Nan on the loo, i tried counting sheep and thinking about Yoko naked, but nothing worked. When the queen tapped me on each shoulder with a naked sword as I knelt on the investiture stool, I thought I was going to blast off.” 

Luckily Sir Paul was able to contain himself and not create an International incident. “After the ceremony, I knelt there for a few moments before rising” said McCartney, “My chubb had subsided and I was able to compose myself.”

Fan Dan Bedrosian commented, “I was at the ceremony and I noticed Paul looked a little odd, and I did notice a bulge in his trousers. I thought it was a tube of chapstick. I never imagined anyone would get aroused at such a solemn and momentous occasion. McCartney must be a real freak.”

There have been other incidents at knighting ceremonies including the Queen accidentally chopping Ringo’s ear off and Prince Charles loudly breaking wind. As he was leaving Buckingham Palace, Paul quipped: “Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl. I want to tell her that I love her a lot but I gotta get a bellyful of wine.”