NY/NJ To Use Firehoses & Police Dogs to Break Up Crowds

In a show of force NY & NJ Governors have agreed to use German Shepherds and Firehoses to break up groups of people not adhering to stay at home rules. 

“Too many people are not taking the quarantine seriously, so drastic measures must be taken to break up these groups of lunkheads” said NJ Governor Murphy. “I am not singling out any group, but some of the worst offenders are a group that rhymes with basidic!”

The first use of the German Shepherds and Firehoses was in Rumson NJ the other night when a group of 40-somethings gathered to hear a guy play Pink Floyd songs on the Acoustic guitar. “In that case I was not that concerned about the social distancing, it was more of a fact thta the guy really sucked and he was mutilating Pink Floyd songs. It was fun watching these rich jerks run away from the dogs though.”

Governor Cuomo agreed stating, “I will be manning the firehouses myself. I can’t wait to blast someone in the face with a rock hard stream of water. These people are morons and deserve a ice cold load in their face.”

The new police goes into effect immediately and will be used whenever anyone is seen being a moron. Any groups of 6 or more will be immediately blasted and bitten into submission. Then tased, handcuffed, fined and kicked. Other states are said to be following suit shortly.