Noisy Neighbor Revenge! Man Hires Slash to Play Insanely Loud Guitar Solos 24/7

Guns n Roses Guitarist, Slash, is now offering Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap! 

Do you have a noisy neighbor that mows his lawn at 7am? You know the type – the guy that has his weed whackers, leaf blowers, lawn mowers, modern country music and other annoyances going early in the morning when you are trying to sleep. 

Well fret no more, Slash is here. Slash aka Saul Hudson is now offering his services to those in need. For $500 per day, Slash will setup a wall of Marshall stack amplifiers and play insanely loud guitar solos around the clock until your noisy neighbor goes insane. Slash guarantees his work and swears that after he is done, the neighbor won’t as much as pass gas without asking your permission first.

Better Call Saul

Slash’s first customer was Noah Zmolik of Battlecreek, Michigan. Mr Zmolik has been awakened every Saturday at 7AM for the last 6 months by his annoying inconsiderate neighbor. “This douche is out there with his lawn mower and leaf blower every Saturday 7AM sharp.” said Zmolik. “I stay up and drink my self into stupidity every Friday night and would like to sleep in a bit on Saturday mornings. Well this was the best $500 I ever spent. You should have seen the look on this clowns face after Slash plugged in and blasted him into next week. I have been sleeping like a baby ever since. I even wet the bed.”

Slash says he got the idea when guitarist Steve Lukather recently posted a video on social media, blasting his guitar at a neighbor for firing up the leaf blowers at 7AM. “I figured hey, I could make some money with this idea” said Slash. “I have gotten so many requests, that I have also hired some of my out of work guitarist friends. We are sitting around doing nothing, we might as well get paid while we are helping out the community.”

The prices are as follows: Slash $500, Jeff Beck $500, Tony Iommi $500, Peter Frampton $375, Zakk Wylde $250, Ace Frehley $7.50

The VIP package includes Yoko Ono singing for 1 hour and DJ Khaled yelling his name for 1 hour. This package goes for $1500 but you will need a special license and pass a background check before being approved. This package is not available in certain municipalities and is banned by the state of California.