Nirvana Reunion: Band To Tour With Kurt Cobain’s Cousin Claude on Vocals

The music world is buzzing with excitement. Dave Grohl announced today that Nirvana will tour and record new music for the first time in 30 years. The surviving band members Grohl and Krist Novoselic will be joined by Kurt Cobain’s cousin Claude on lead vocals.

Nirvana Reunion

The legendary band, which formed in 1987 and rose to fame in the early 1990s, has been on hiatus since the death of lead singer Kurt Cobain in 1994. Fans have been eagerly waiting for a reunion tour for many years now. Nirvana will tour the world for the next two years and will be opening for KISS on their farewell tour.

“The time was right” said Grohl. “I was hanging out with the bass player, what’s his name. We have been jamming and recording some new material. What is that guy’s name again? I can never remember it.”

Chris Selleck?

After being reminded of the original bass player’s name Grohl continued, “Yes that’s it, Chris Selleck, Thank You. Is he related to Tom Selleck? That would be really cool, I am a big fan of Magnum PI. Anyway, we felt it was time to go out on the road. We thought about me singing or Axl Rose but it didn’t seem right. Other singers we thought about were Joan Jett, Paul McCartney, Stevie Nicks and John Lydon. Actually we thought about anyone except Courtney. Then Pat Smear said what about Claude? We all looked at each other and yelled, Claude of course. We rang him up and he agreed right away.”

Nirvana Reunion: Band To Tour With Kurt Cobain’s Cousin Claude on Vocals

Claude of course is Claude Cobain, Kurt’s cousin. Nirvana guitarist Pat Smear told Madhouse News, “Kurt always said that Claude was the real talent in the family. Claude taught Kurt everything he knows about music. Claude was older and while Kurt was listening to The Monkees and Partridge Family and stuff like that, Claude turned him on to Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and the like. He was also the first to introduce Kurt to punk music and taught him how to write songs. Claude can shred on the guitar, sing like an angel, can bench press 300 pounds and bears a striking resemblance to Kurt. They are like identical cousins.”

Funky Claude

Claude has been in and out of prison and spends his days watching Cops and drinking rubbing alcohol. He has been working recently as Courtney Love’s butler, dog walker and chauffeur. “As soon as I got the call I told Courtney to shove it. I pulled the car over and left it on the side of the freeway with Courtney in the back. She was screaming and yelling and chased me with a baseball bat. She’s probably still there as she is quite helpless without me. I don’t know who is going to wash her soiled underpants now.”

Fans reactions were mixed. “Who the f*ck is Claude Cobain?” wrote Alan Fasano. “I love Nirvana and have been waiting for this reunion all my life but having someone sing with Nirvana just because he is Kurt’s cousin is insane. What’s next, Kurt’s neighbor’s plumber will be playing keyboards?”