Nirvana Baby Drops Lawsuit After Scary Visit From Courtney Love

Spencer Elden has dropped his lawsuit against Nirvana after a terrifying late night visit from Courtney Love. 

Elden, A 30-year-old man who appeared nude at 4 months old in 1991 on the cover of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album is suing the band and others. The lawsuit alleges the band profited from the image of his tiny weenie.

Nirvana Baby vs Courtney Love

Basically The lawsuit goes on to say, Elden has suffered “lifelong damages” from the ubiquitous image of him naked underwater appearing to swim after a dollar bill on a fish hook. “People are always offering me a dollar to see my junk” says Elden. “Everywhere I go people snicker and laugh at the size of my manhood. Now they have even started singing a song to mock me. Baby D*k, do do do do do. Sung to Baby Shark. It is very embarrassing.”

Nevermind

After hastily dropping the lawsuit, Elden explained why. “I woke up at 2AM and felt there was a presence in my room” said Elden. “Sitting there in the dark was a shadowy figure in all black. It was Courtney Love. She never said a word but crouched on my rug and took a dump while looking me directly in the eyes. I was frozen in fear. She got up and cleaned herself off with my t shirt. She then handed me a shotgun shell with my name on it and a suicide note that said, ’Insert Your Name Here’”.

“I was never so scared in my life, but I definitely got the message loud and clear. After that, I didn’t sleep a wink. At first I turned all the lights on in the house and I locked myself in the bathroom armed with a butcher knife. Then At the first break of light in the morning, I got out of there and called my lawyer. I told him to drop the suit immediately. I packed a bag and I am on the run now, I am leaving the country now.”

The significance of Love’s visit is not lost on Elden. “I have heard the rumors and I have seen the movies. A lot of people believe Courtney killed Kurt. I am not saying another word.”

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