Nikki Sixx Admits He Has No Idea How To Play The Bass

In a shocking turn of events, rock music fans around the globe were left bewildered and amused as iconic Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx was exposed for not knowing how to play the bass guitar. Yes, you read that right—Nikki Sixx has been faking it all along!

Nikki Sixx Vs Bass Guitar

For years, Sixx has enjoyed a legendary status among rock fans, captivating audiences with his energetic stage presence and wild antics. His larger-than-life hair, combined with his excessive drug use, made him an icon of the ’80s rock scene. But it seems there was one crucial detail that was overlooked all this time: his complete lack of bass-playing skills.

It all started when Producer Bob Rock revealed during an interview that Sixx believed that all his bass parts on the first four records were re-recorded when he wasn’t in the studio. Sixx then added “I don’t really know how to play bass,” he then broke down and wept like a baby. I slapped him silly and screamed at him to act like a man.

Bass Has 4 Strings

Rock continued, “I tried to work with him but he didn’t even know that a Bass had 4 strings. When I told him to choose a bass off the rack he came back with a Fender Strat guitar. At that point I tried tough love. Whenever he selected a guitar instead of a bass I cattle prodded his testes. Eventually he was able to at least identify a bass guitar. However playing it was basically an uphill battle. He strummed the bass like he was playing a Ukulele. Honestly, he was hopeless, the worst I have ever seen.”

Nikki Sixx Admits He Has No Idea How To Play The Bass

After this news broke, fans, bass players, engineers, sound men and metal devotees came out of the woodwork. Suspicions aroused and investigations were launched. Armed with determination and an eye for detail, bass-loving detectives analyzed numerous live concert videos, scrutinizing every move Sixx made. Slowly but surely, the evidence started piling up. Sixx’s hands seemed to hover suspiciously close to the bass, but never actually connected with the strings. It was a bass-playing mirage! Motley Crue Sound engineers confirmed his amp was never even plugged in. Pro bass players were hired to play as Sixx aped around pretending to play.

Confession

Confronted with the overwhelming evidence, Sixx was forced to confess. Nikki held a press conference with his wife by his side. “ I have sinned. By pretending to play the bass, I have brought shame to my family. The cover up and lying was even worse. It was wrong, it was foolish, it was inexcusable. And for this, I ask the forgiveness and the grace of my two remaining fans.”

In any case, the story of Nikki Sixx’s astonishing bass-playing charade will forever be etched into the annals of rock music history. It’s just one more chapter of the beautiful tapestry that is the rock ‘n’ roll circus. Long live the legend of Nikki Sixx, the world’s greatest non playing bassist!