Nickelback Named Best Heavy Metal Band Ever By Rolling Stone Poll

Rolling Stone magazine has once again created a stir in the music world by naming Nickelback the best Heavy Metal band ever in a new poll. The list was created by writers of Rolling Stone with input from fans, mental patients and several street people. Editors of several other magazines such as Popular Mechanics, Psychology Today and Good Housekeeping worked in tandem with RS to create the ultimate heavy metal list.

Heavy Metal fans are beside themselves today. Some are calling it the day the music died and others are just roaming around like zombies muttering, “Nickelback is not metal”. Many blame Canada for unleashing the band on the world and demand sanctions or reparations. Others have stormed the Rolling Stone headquarters and burning the mag in the streets.

Nickelback is the Best Heavy Metal Band Ever?

Nickelback is a Canadian band formed in 1995 by lead singer/guitarist Chad Kroeger. We think the other members of the band are his brothers, cousins and stepfather. They sold a lot of albums but no one knows why. We could not find anyone that admitted to liking Nickelback. They have been the brunt of every rock n roll joke since 1995. Some say they are the Rodney Dangerfield of Rock n Roll.

Nickelback Named Best Heavy Metal Band Ever By Rolling Stone Poll

Slipknot singer Corey Taylor commented, “Are you joking, Nickelback? Nickelback beat Slipknot and Black Sabbath. Nickelback is not metal, they are like Olive Garden is to good Italian Food. Sure some people eat there but they don’t feel good about it. Who voted for this? Nickelback is like dating a fat chick or riding a moped. They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to see you.”

Kroeger’s ex-wife Avril Lavigne commented, “Nickelback was voted the best metal band ever? Are you insane? That’s like naming me the best punk rocker ever. Nickelback is light hair metal without the hair or cheesy pop music at best. Chad is a douche with bad hair and looks like a cocker spaniel. Bon Jovi, Twisted Sister and Sebastian Bach are even more metal than Nickelback.”

Studies were performed in the 2000s when fans were not so ashamed to admit they liked the band. The results concluded that a vast majority of Nickelback fans had some form of birth defect. The mothers of these fans admitted to drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes while pregnant.