NFL Helmets to Feature Serial Killers Names This Season
NFL announced today, that player helmets will prominently feature the names of serial killers such as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer & John Wayne Gacy. The names must be selected from the NFL official list of serial killers and will be featured during Thanksgiving week.
In addition to the serial killer names, we will also display social messaging such as “Helter Skelter”, “Kiss Ya Later, I’m Eating a Po-tater” & “Ass, Gas or Grass, No One Rides For Free”.
Roger Goodell announced the new helmets stating, “We are excited about the new helmets and we are thinking of having war criminals on the helmets for the Super Bowl. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Hitler, Mussolini, Dr Mengele. The options are endless.”
Other ideas are to have the names of Joe Exotic and the cast of the Tiger King on the helmets. Carole “Effin” Baskin and the whole crew. “Now that will sell some tickets” said Goodell.
When asked what significance do these names have on the helmets, and what is the point of all this? Goodell replied “What? You are asking me? Like I know. I’m doing my best here. This is the very least we can do to shut everyone up.”
We’re told the NFL will also roll out a new catchphrase … “We Have No Idea What We’re Doing” … which will be painted across the back of the end zones.
