New Ozzy Osbourne Elf On The Shelf Available Now

The creators of the “Tickle Me Elmo” and “Teddy Ruxpin” toys, “Xmas Inc.” have come up with a new Rock n Roll version of “Elf On The Shelf” for this Christmas. The new version will feature the likeness of the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne. “Xmas Inc” hopes the Ozzy Elf will recapture the same excitement “Teddy Ruxpin” and “Tickle Me Elmo” have in Christmases past.

The adorable Elf on the Shelf has been a charming Christmas tradition since 2005. The Elf on the Shelf, a toy based on a children’s book, is a fun and novel idea that many families have eagerly incorporated into their Christmas traditions. When a child names the Elf, it magically comes to life each night between Thanksgiving and Christmas to squeal back to Santa about the child’s behavior. The little snitch elf then returns to the home to a different spot than the night before, but the child must not touch it, or it might lose its magic.

Blizzard of Ozz

Instead of a book, the new “Ozzy” elf on the shelf comes with a red vinyl copy of the 1980 “Blizzard of Ozz” album. The elf will be fully articulated and will contain the latest and greatest technology. Xmas Inc has teamed up with Apple, Microsoft and Google to create the Artificial Intelligence technology contained within the elf.

New Ozzy Osbourne Elf On The Shelf Available Now

The Ozzy Elf will learn the child’s name and will be able to communicate with the child. The elf will yell, make demonic sounds and curse at the children if they are acting like jerks. Ozzy elf will also sing along to all Black Sabbath and Ozzy songs. Phrases like “Sit down, shut up” “I told you not to be stupid you moron” and other delightful confidence building terms will be commonplace.

Snitches Get Stitches

Ozzy told Madhouse News, “I am delighted to be a part of this project. I always hated that little rat snitch elf. About time we had a stand up elf. Where I came from, Snitches got Stitches. If kids get out of line, the Ozzy elf will put them in their place. If they try to touch me, I will bite their little dirty fingers. Don’t Fook with the Ozzy Elf.”

Other elves in the works include, Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson, Slayer, and Sid Vicious. “The one that we are incredibly psyched about is the GG Allin elf.” said “Xmas Inc.” spokesperson Paul Keeney. “The GG elf will fling feces at the children when they are bad. How awesome is that?”

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