New Golden Girls Unveiled, Starring Ozzy, Elton, Alice & Paul McCartney!

The Hallmark Channel has announced their new lineup, which will feature a remake of the 1980’s Classic ‘The Golden Girls’. The Golden Girls is the beloved sitcom about four older women sharing a home in Miami, Florida. The ensemble cast starred Betty White, Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty and Rue McClanahan.

At the present time The ‘New Golden Girls’ will star Paul McCartney as Blanche, Ozzy Osbourne as Rose, Alice Cooper as Dorothy, and Elton John as Mama Sophia. Just as in the original, the show will take place in Miami Florida, and will center around four women sharing a house together. Hilarity ensues. 

New Golden Girls

Also, one new twist is that ‘The Girls’ will perform a musical number during each show. “I’d like to see Bea Arthur sing ‘Crazy Train'” said Ozzy. “No I really would have liked to seen that, it would have been amazing. I had a strange attraction to Bea Arthur. Sharon called it a sick obsession.” A Soundtrack album from the show has already been released and reached #1 on the Adult Contemporary over 100 charts.

The show will feature new scripts, as well as reworked story lines from the original show. Original Creators Paul Junger-Witt and Susan Harris were approached to participate but commented “Are you freakin’ crazy!? This is the worst idea we have ever heard. We will not participate in any shape or form!”

Nevertheless, Hallmark continued with the idea and instead signed Ted McGinley as Writer and Producer. Ted McGinley is of course known as the kiss of death for sitcoms. McGinley is often referred to as the patron saint of shark jumping. He was added to shows such as Happy Days, Love Boat and Married with Children after they have jumped the shark to replace original cast members that have departed.

Additionally, Guest Stars include Marilyn Manson as Dorothy’s Daughter ‘Midge’ and Henry Rollins as the gay next door neighbor ‘Coco. “I smell an Emmy” said Rollins. “This is definitely must watch Television”.

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