New DNA Evidence Proves Alice Cooper WAS Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver

The rumor that Alice Cooper played Eddie Haskell on the 1950s sitcom “Leave it to Beaver” has been running rampant for decades. Alice has continually denied the rumor even going so far as to wear a T-shirt stating, “I am not Eddie Haskell”. However, faced with the new DNA evidence, Cooper has confirmed that he was in fact Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver.

Earlier this year, DNA proved that Marilyn Manson was Paul Pfeiffer on “The Wonder Years”. Danica McKellar who played Winnie Cooper on the show blew the lid off the case. Danica supplied scripts, clothing, retainer, eyeglasses and a toothbrush from the original show that contained Paul Pfeiffer’s DNA. A lab confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Manson was Paul. Marilyn Manson was left with no choice but to confess.

The Smoking Toothbrush

After hearing this news, Jerry Mathers who played Beaver on the show and Dennis Dunaway who played Bass in The Alice Cooper band joined forces. The duo met at a comic con signing show at the Holiday Inn in Secaucus, New Jersey. They decided they could blow the lid off the Alice is Eddie rumor and could make some money in the process. They supplied the smoking Alice Cooper toothbrush which matched DNA found on Eddie’s original show worn sweater.

Pound The Beaver

Leave it to Beaver was a wholesome American sitcom that ran from 1957-1963. It featured Mathers as The Beaver and his typical American Family. Dad had an unknown job and Mom vacuumed in a lovely dress and pearls. It was the perfect Nuclear family of the 1950s. Eddie Haskell was Wally’s friend. He was a real jerk but pretended to be an angel whenever adults were around. As soon as the adults left Eddie was sure to pound the Beaver.

Leave it to Beaver was never a huge ratings winner when it was first on. However, it became a huge success and money maker for all involved in syndication. Just as in the Manson/Wonder Years case, the powers that be decided that Cooper’s shocking image would be detrimental to the show. So when Cooper’s music career stating taking off, the coverup went into full swing.

Eddie Haskell

An immediate gag order was issued on the cast and an actor named Ken Osmond was hired to claim he played Eddie Haskell. Osmond was actually an LAPD officer and made all the talk show rounds and insisted he was Eddie. Documents were forged, fake ID’s created, people threatened, big wigs paid off and the cover up began.

The DNA was tested by ‘One Hour DNA Testing’ lab in Laguna Hills, California. They confirmed that the DNA is a 100 percent match to Vincent Furnier aka Marilyn Manson. It is a 0.0 match to Ken Osmond. It was also confirmed that there are no birth records for a Ken Osmond.

When reached for comment Alice Cooper immediately confessed. “About time” said Cooper. “I am relieved to get this off my chest. I, Alice J. Cooper being of sound mind and body do hereby confirm that I was the child actor that played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver”.