Neil Young & Gene Simmons Form New Band: “Rock n Roll Karens”

Neil Young and Gene Simmons, each known for their unique styles and iconic careers, have formed a band that’s sure to be the talk of the town: “The Rock n Roll Karens.” The idea came to the pair when they found themselves complaining about the same issue once again. The two biggest yentas in rock n roll then decided to join forces.

“It was karma” said Young. “Gene and I have always been giant whiners. It was inevitable that we would eventually find our way to each other. In a strange way it is like one of those Hallmark romantic movies. You know, It’s the classic story, The hippie weirdo from a small town meets a slime ball snake oil salesman from the big city.”

Neil Young & Gene Simmons

In addition to Young and Simmons on guitar and bass, The Rock n Roll Karens will feature Mike Portnoy on drums, Steve Stevens on lead guitar, Tracii Guns on tambourine and Dee Snider on vocals. The gimmick will be that all members of the band will be wearing mom jeans and sporting the exaggerated yet iconic Karen haircut.

The band’s first album will be titled of course, “I Wanna Speak To The Manager”. Some tracks on the album include: “Free Speech is for Me Not You” “Shout it Out Softly” “Mandate Me”,“We Are Definitely Gonna Take It” “I’m Against It” “Boot Licker Yell” and “Born to Censor”. Guests on the album include Elton John, Trent Reznor, Sebastian Bach, Bruce Springsteen and Little Steven.

Dee Snider commented, “This is the perfect band. Free speech is not for everyone. Tipper Gore was right. That is a big regret of mine, she was right and I should have never argued with her. Censorship is cool and the problem with free speech is that everyone wants it, not just the people we agree with. And of course we cannot have that. That is basically the mission statement of this band.”

I Think We’re Alone Now

When it comes to touring, The band will take a page out of the Tiffany play book. The tour is set to kick off next month, with the first stop at a shopping mall in suburban America. The Rock n Roll Karens are expected to bring their unique brand of music to the masses. They will be accompanied by a team of backup dancers armed with “complaint” signs and a choreographed routine for every song. Simmons commented, “I don’t care about much, I just want to make some more money and sell some more crap to the fans.”