Nancy Pelosi Wakes Up In Body Bag After Passing Out Drunk

In a scene straight out of a zombie movie, Nancy Pelosi miraculously sprang back to life in a body bag after being pronounced dead by doctors earlier that day.

The Speaker of the House, Pelosi, passed out drunk behind a hospital in San Francisco and was quickly zipped up in a body bag and declared dead. 

“She was out like a stone” said Doctor Claude Balzac, “In retrospect, I should have done a more thorough exam, but we are pretty busy here.”

A furious Pelosi vowed to deport the doctor and close down every hospital in California. “A girl can’t drink a few bottles of wine and take a few Xanax and go for a stroll and pass out drunk without waking up in a body bag? What kind of country are we living in? I blame Donald Trump for this!”

Donald Trump tweeted “Nancy Pelosi is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why they put her in a body bag. A sloppy mess.”