Mick Jagger Unveils New “Male Implants”

Rocker Mick Jagger, of The Rolling Stones, unveiled his new ‘male implants’ on Friday. The audience was shocked as it looked like Mick was hiding an armadillo in his trousers. 

Jagger announced via Instagram that he was having a special procedure done, but no one knew the details. Mick got what is known as ‘male implants’ or testicular enlargement. 

Mick unveiled the new body work at London’s Lyceum Theatre, to a packed house. When Mick stepped on stage, the crowd went wild and gave him a standing ovation. He did not perform any songs or music. Jagger just stood there for an hour in different poses to show off his new wobbly bits in all their splendor. The crowd couldn’t get enough.

Male Implants

A testicular enlargement is a surgical procedure designed to improve the appearance of the testes in the scrotal sac. The Testicular Enlargement Implant allows you to retain testicular function while enhancing the appearance of the scrotum. Testicular enhancement uses cup-shaped silicone implants to enlarge the testes and enhance your overall appearance.

“I felt I needed to go bigger” said Jagger. “The Rolling Stones are the biggest band in the world, and as lead singer, I needed the biggest package. I want everyone in the stadium to be able to see ‘the boys’ clearly. Now there was nothing wrong with what God gave me, but I wanted to go over the top. Now they are sublime, exquisite, perfectly symmetrical, like 2 newborn twins.”

Drummer Charlie Watts told Madhouse News, “Well that’s good for Mick. It is certainly not something I would be interested in for myself, but Mick always did march to his own drummer. If it’s good the band then I am all for it. If the fans like it , then god bless. Mick likes to please the fans.”