Mick Jagger to Wrestle Trump For Rights to Use Stones Songs

The Rolling Stones and Mick Jagger are threatening Donald Trump with an a$$ whipping for using their songs at his rallies, despite a cease and desist warning. 

Trump has been using The Rolling Stones song, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” at rallies, without permission from the band. Despite warnings, Trump keeps playing the songs and laughing. 

Since threats, pleas, and legal wrangling have not worked, Mick Jagger has challenged Donald Trump to a wrestling match. Trump has accepted, and the match will be held in Las Vegas on July 4th. 

The match, billed as the “Fight Heard Round The World” will be a no holds barred, Texas barbed wire, steel cage, Taipei Death match. Trump and Jagger’s fists will be taped and dipped into glue and in broken and crushed glass, allowing shards to stick to their fists. Wrestlers win by pinfall, submission or escape.

Jagger is the odds on favorite to win, even though Trump has 100 lbs on him. Jagger is wiry and strong and stated “I plan on tiring Trump out and then bashing his skull in.” Trump countered with “I am going to crush that skinny Brit. I am going to get him in a bear hug and fart on his head.”

If Trump wins, he can use any Stones song he wants, for whatever purpose he chooses. “After I win, I plan on playing Stones songs as my soundtrack, even while I am on the toilet.” If Jagger wins, then Trump must immediately stop using all Stones songs and can only use ‘Nickelback’ songs at all future events.