Michael Anthony Grows Beard Joins ZZ Top As New Bass Player

ZZ Top has officially announced that ex Van Halen bass player, Michael Anthony is joining the band. Anthony confirmed the news today by sharing a photo of himself with a very long beard.

ZZ Top known as that little ol’ blues band from Texas had no lineup changes for 52 years. Billy Gibbons, Frank Beard and Dusty Hill were together until Bass man Hill passed away. Dusty insisted the show must go on and that the band must continue without him. Longtime guitar tech Elwood Francis stepped in as interim bass player until a permanent replacement could be found.

The Beard

ZZ Top Guitarist Billy Gibbons knew for over a year that Michael Anthony would be the best choice for the band’s new bass player. He just had to wait for Anthony’s beard to grow in before he could make the announcement. “The beard turned out real nice” said Gibbons. “Anthony stopped shaving completely and threw away all his razors, but it looked real weak in the beginning. Patchy and it just wasn’t coming in like it should. It looked like he glued his pubes to his face. About the six month mark I rubbed in a little monkey wax and that made all the difference. The next day it was shiny and growing like a weed. Another plus is that Michael fits the rhinestone suits so we don’t have to buy anything new.”

Michael Anthony Grows Beard Joins ZZ Top As New Bass Player

Van Halen

Michael Anthony Sobolewski was of course, the bassist and backing vocalist for Van Halen from 1974 to 2006. Following his 2006 departure, Anthony has collaborated with fellow former Van Halen bandmate Sammy Hagar for the supergroups Chickenfoot and Sammy Hagar and the Circle. Anthony declared that he left Van Halen after Eddie dissed Michael in an interview. During the interview Eddie stated, “I love Michael. We only let him in the band because we felt sorry for him. He was like that fat little kid on Beavis and Butthead that wore the Winger t-shirt. I think his name was Stuart. Well, that was Michael. We used to give him wedgies and fart on his head.”

Anthony is very excited and will join the band immediately for their current tour. “I am psyched” said Anthony. “Billy Gibbons is a cool dude and easy to get along with. That other guy that plays drums is cool too. I am not sure what his name is though. I asked Billy, but he didn’t know either.”

Gibbons continued, “Wherever Dusty may be, he’s probably smiling, just knowing that all the notes are in place and that the fierceness rolls on.”