Medical Prostitution Now Legal in NY

Effectively immediately, doctors in New York can recommend their patients use ‘medical prostitution’ to treat anxiety, various forms of chronic pain, migraines and Tourette’s syndrome. 

New York City Mayor Bill Deblasio was joined by Al Roker and disgraced former news anchor, Matt Lauer in a ribbon cutting ceremony to welcome the city’s first Medicinal Brothel. The Brothel, which goes by the name, ‘Whores R Us’, will be located in Times Square, next to the M&M store.

Bob Haslett, a 36-year-old Staten Island man with Scurvy, said that he visits prostitutes on the black market regularly. “I am very excited”, giggled Haslett, “there is nothing like a bow legged woman to cure your ills.”

Doug Durrum of Hicksville, NY suffers from Rickets and hemorrhoids. Durrum said “I abandoned the use of steroids and pills for prostitution. Let me be clear: this was not an easy decision. I was concerned about how my children would react and how my prostitution consumption would be perceived by others.”

“Medical prostitution saved my life,” Durrum said. “I hope it can save so many others.”