Manson Follower Leslie Van Houten Joins The View As New Co-Host

Former Charles Manson follower Leslie Van Houten was released Tuesday after 53 years in prison. She was immediately hired by ABC as the new co-host of “The View”. Van Houten joins a cast of large, unstable, angry women that include Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar. An ABC spokesperson said that Van Houten was hired to be the voice of reason.

Leslie Van Houten spent 53 years in prison for the murders of Los Feliz grocer Leno LaBianca and his wife, Rosemary, at their home in 1969. Van Houten was “released to parole supervision” on July 11, according to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Leslie will be remanded to the custody of Goldberg and Behar. Other conditions of Van Houten’s release include: She is banned from ever listening to “Helter Skelter” or anything from The Beatles White Album.

Leslie Van Houten The View

A Department of Corrections spokesperson stated, “After a week living with those two yentas, Leslie will be begging to let back into prison. Jail is going to start looking pretty good after listening to those two blabbering all day. It will be a good test as well. If Van Houten can put up with Whoopi and Joy without plunging a knife into them 41 times, then we know she’s completely rehabilitated and ready to be rejoin society. God have mercy on her soul.”

Manson Follower Leslie Van Houten Joins The View As New Co-Host

We could not find anyone that actually watches “The View”. However, we believe the premise is a gaggle of Heifers ranting and raving about topics which they do not understand. Van Houten received her MBA while in prison and is by far the smartest person on the panel.

Van Houten commented, “I have never actually seen the show. The other women in the prison preferred to watch that Bob Ross painting show. For some reason they love him. Anyway I do not foresee any issues as I have been dealing with maniacs all my life. The cast of the View will not be a problem. I will have a butcher knife on my lap at all times just to keep everyone honest.”

For Van Houten’s first week as co-host, the guests include Roman Polanski, Squeaky Fromme, OJ Simpson, Marilyn Manson, Quentin Tarantino and Demi Lovato. Things should get quite interesting. Be sure to tune in.