Man Beaten For Yelling at UFC Girl In Metallica Tee to Name 3 Songs

An annoying man picked the wrong woman to mess with today. Jason Nowlan makes a habit of yelling at girls wearing rock band tees to see if they can name three of the bands songs. Usually they just give him dirty looks or run away but today Mr. Nowlan got the surprise of his life. After stopping and yelling at UFC star Polyana Viana, Mr. Nowlan was beaten within an inch of his life and he didn’t even have a ruler.

UFC Star Polyana Viana left a man with horrific facial injuries after he yelled at her and demanded she name three songs by the band Metallica. “I was minding my own business on a nice walk to get an iced coffee” said Viana. “This guy starts yelling at me because I was wearing a Metallica Tee. I told him to get away from me and he threatened me. He said there would be trouble if he walked over to me. I told him he could walk over but he would be limping back.”

Speed Bag

The would-be Metallica gatekeeper then attempted to confiscate the band Tee. “You don’t deserve this tee shirt” yelled Nowlan. As he reached for the tee Viana punched and kicked the jacka$$ before locking him in a rear-naked choke. She then pounded his testicles like a speed bag. The man begged her to call the police.

Man Beaten For Yelling at UFC Girl In Metallica Tee to Name 3 Songs

“You messed with the wrong lady” said Viana. “I then went on to name 50 Metallica songs as we waited for the police. Metallica is my favorite band, I can name all of their songs and I have seen them in concert like 20 times. I quizzed the guy while we were waiting and he didn’t even know Ron McGovney was the bass player before Cliff Burton, What a clown.”

Breaking Your Jaw

Growing up on the streets of Brazil, this was not the first time the UFC fighter had to fend for herself. “I have beaten up hundreds of men trying to rob me in Brazil” said Viana. “But only a few times have guys gotten so aggressive over band tees. The last time was when I was wearing a Judas Priest Tee and some guy got in my face. Quickly, I swept his legs out from under him. While he was on the ground, I bashed him in the face repeatedly with a garbage can cover while I sang the lyrics to ‘Breaking the Law’. I changed the lyrics to ‘Breaking Your Jaw’. ”