Lizzo is New Spokesperson For Chiquita Bananas

Lizzo is the new spokesperson for Chiquita bananas. Following the controversy surrounding Lizzo and the allegations made by her backup dancers, a genius marketing representative at Chiquita made a bold move. The rep decided to make lemonade when handed rotten bananas. If successful, this will be equal to that time someone turned water into wine.

Three of Lizzo’s former dancers are suing the singer for sexual harassment, body shaming as well as allegedly creating a hostile work environment. The alleged dancers allege that Lizzo forced them to engage in gross and dehumanizing behavior. They claim they were forced to eat Fruit Loops cereal out of Lizzo’s booty hole. Then in a club in Amsterdam they were pressured into eating bananas out of the performers lady parts. Social media exploded and #LizzoLovesBananas was trending. The most shocking part of the suit is that Lizzo body shamed one of the dancers. The dancer was mocked for losing weight. She was ridiculed for dropping below 250 pounds.

Lizzo Spokesperson for Chiquita Bananas

Team Lizzo denied the accusations and stated they were nothing but lies. Lizzo posted on social media, “These dancers are lying. It was not Fruit Loops, it was Captain Crunch. The banana part is true though. That was awesome. Bananas have a lot of potassium, did you know that I can play the flute?” Lizzo’s handlers removed the post but not before 3 million people screen shotted and re-shared the post.

Lizzo is New Spokesperson For Chiquita Bananas

After the news broke concerning the lawsuit and the great banana incident, Chiquita marketing genius Kelly Garrett sprung into action. Kelly attempted to spin the banana debacle into a positive. Garrett and Lizzo’s team came up with what some are saying is the greatest PR campaign since Keith Richards was hired to do anti drug PSA’s in 1978.

Chiquita along with the Banana Growers Association of Paraguay combined along with Lizzo to form a super team. They pooled all their resources and put Lizzo in a banana costume with the full Carmen Miranda fruit hat. They made a series of commercials featuring Lizzo dancing and singing the new jingle.

I'm Chiquita banana and I've come to say
Bananas taste better from a va-jay-jay
You can put them in a salad
You can put them in my brown eye
Any way you want to eat them
My dancers are fat and I want to beat them

All went well except Lizzo slipped on a banana peel during the film shoot and it registered a 3.5 on the richter scale. Initial response to the campaign was mixed. Some were team Lizzo but it appears most were still team dancers. Jeff Heaton commented, “Lizzo your caboose looks more like 2 polecats fighting in a gunny sack.” Kelly Garrett commented, “If this goes well, I smell a spokesperson gig for Captain Crunch.”