Lita Ford Ranks All Of Her Rock Star Ex-Boyfriends

80s Hard Rock Queen Lita Ford recently spilled the details on her rock n roll love life. Lita sat down, sized up and ranked all of her many affairs, liaisons, dalliances and relationships. For this article we just concentrated on the highest profile Rock Stars.

“I Love Rock n Roll” said Lita. “In the 80s, everybody was just going crazy with the s*x and drugs. I always went with the rock stars, I really got off on that. If a guy could play guitar or sing, they were irresistible to me. They could look like a troll but if they had any talent at all, they could have me. However, I did have one rule, no drummers or bass players. I concentrated on guitar players and singers but I also had fun with sax players, keyboards, even flugelhorn but no drummers or bass players.”

Dude Looks Like a Lady

Lita continued, “So let’s get to it and start with the worst, Jon Bon Jovi. He was cute and all and had nice hair. At the time I liked dudes that looked like chicks. I liked that I could pick him up over my head and he enjoyed that too. He was really tiny, finished in 10 seconds and then he cried. It was a disaster.”

Lita Ford Ranks All Of Her Rock Star Ex-Boyfriends

“Dee Dee Ramone and Nikki Sixx fell asleep. That is why I swore off bass players. Sebastian Bach stared at himself in the mirror the whole time and flipped his hair. I think I was the one to turn Rob Halford away from women and made him switch teams because I gave him a dutch oven. He was not amused by that.”

Colonel Angus

“Angus Young from AC/DC, as tiny as he is he threw me around like a rag doll. I called him The Colonel. Colonel Angus, nudge nudge say no more. Tony Iommi was amazing but he was a real freak. He was into Cleveland Steamers, Dirty Sanchez and all that. We were engaged. What does that tell you about me? I was with Chris Holmes from WASP for many years as well. You know what men say about psycho chicks, well, the same goes for psycho dudes.”

“Eddie Van Halen was superb. He played the guitar for me and my panties literally flew off all by themselves. All these dudes were special, but the real love of my life was Barry Manilow. I see you looked shocked, but the dude rocked my world. There will never be another Barry. The one that got away though is Robert Plant, The Golden God. He is my Unicorn. I never got the chance to be with him but I don’t care if he is 100 years old at the time, I am going for it.”