Lil Nas X Releases New Shoes Containing His Own Excrement

Following backlash for his ‘Satan Shoes’, Lil Nas X has announced that he is releasing a new line of shoes that will contain a sample of his own excrement.

His ‘Satan Shoes’ are redesigned Nike Air Max 97s with the numbers 666, a pentagram and 1 drop of human blood. The shoes retail for $1,018. If you want HIV positive blood that will run you an extra $500. 

The new ‘Poo Shoes’ will be the same ‘Satan Shoes’, but in addition to the blood, Lil Nas will personally wipe his own excrement all over the shoe. “It’s really a statement on my music” said Lil Nas. “My music is $hit. You know it, I know it, but some dummies like it, and these same dummies will buy my actual excrement.” 

Lil Nas X is a radical scary rapper who rose to fame after his bold collaboration with another music revolutionary, Billy Ray Cyrus. Yes the ‘Achy, Breaky, Heart’ guy and father of Miley Cyrus. With 2 music revolutionaries like that on 1 song how could it miss. Many say it is reminiscent of when David Bowie and Lou Reed or Iggy Pop collaborated in the 1970’s. 

Nike denies any involvement with the sneaker. “We do not have a relationship with Lil Nas X. Nike did not design or release these shoes and we do not endorse them. We do not condone HIV blood, human excrement, vomit or any other bodily fluid in conjunction with our shoes.”

Lil Nas fan, Rob Hellebrand, was first on line to get the new shoes, which will be released Easter Sunday. Hellebrand commented, “This is my dream come true. I have been waiting on line here since 6AM and I will continue to wait for a week to get some of Lil Nas X poop. Pinch me, I must be dreaming.” The ‘Poo Shoes’ will retail for $1999.